The Pact

  I believe that birds make pacts with our dogs when they build their nests in our yard. The dogs...

Yeah, That’s My Kid

My children constantly surprise me. Last month when we were visiting Walt Disney World we splurged and let them play...

weapon of choice

to what end, all this rushing around and dominating the competition? gold? this is man’s destiny? to hoard gold and...

How to Make a Great Ad

When I broke into advertising, I was all about the high concept stuff that left an impact on people. Creating...

Would You Be Upset In Belize?

Life is hard enough without having to deal with bad drivers who don’t use their turn signals. And it’s more...

The Window

The window is constantly shutting. It does not care about your five year plan. Opportunities to live appear in every...

Ants

  What if we are all really just ants? Slaves to the machine. Blinded by conformity of the way things...

Dustin Pedroia is the Reason I Love Baseball

Make no mistake, I’m no fan of the Boston Red Sox. I used to like them back in the day...

They Only Jog in Rich Neighborhoods

  Angels constantly swirl around me. Some are beautiful. Some are violent. Some have bad teeth. They protect me from...

A Letter to America

  Dear All Dogmatic American Party Liners, We Unaffiliated American voters are pissed off at what you’ve done to our...

A Little Advice

I don't like giving advice. In fact, I hate it. It's not that I don't like helping people, there are...

Finding Neverland: A Story of Belize

This year my family took its summer vacation to the Central American nation of Belize.

3 Ways to Save Humans in America

You are what you eat. It’s an idiom kids in the 70s grew up with that made us think about...

Bump

I used to know a guy named Bump. He was a metal worker in my dad’s sheet metal shop. Bump...

Dear Parents, Do Better

In 2001 I became a parent. I chose to become a parent. But like everyone else who is a parent...

A Routine Day

I wrote the following piece as an extension of this tweet. It was a perfect late afternoon in early summer. Hope...

How I Used an Onion to Break into Advertising

Whether you’re in advertising or not, looking for work sucks. But it doesn’t have to mean that you have to...

Confessions of a Recovering Homophobe

We didn’t discuss homosexuality in my house growing up. In fact, the first time I even heard the term...

The Little Girl Who Leaves Notes on Her Pillow

Being a parent is hard. Children are time consuming, money consuming, food consuming, and emotionally draining. People fill novels with...

The Wickedness of Walt Disney

I love Walt Disney. There, I said it.

yellow tree

At 13, I feel like I’m losing her. It rips my heart in two. We are too similar. And there are too many hormones flying around. I can’t back down because I’m the parent. She can’t back down because she’s…

lifesaver

With the success of the video showing strangers (actors) kissing for the first time, along with all the parodies that followed, it made me think about my own first kiss. We only get one. Mine was inadvertent. Sort of. It…

owl

  Oh hello Mr. Barred Owl on the low hanging bough just outside my window. There are no kittens here between the hedges, creeping low. So off you go. Silently. Into the black. *** Jim Mitchem

billion dollar bracket1

Fresh on the heels of H&R Block’s “Get Your Billion Back, America” campaign, now we have the Yahoo/Quicken Loans “Billion Dollar Bracket” campaign. Unlike the sleight of hand employed by H&R Block, this concept is even eviler. The H&R campaign…

Screen Shot 2014-03-08 at 10.03.44 AM

The stories keep piling up and I have nowhere to put them except in little digital envelopes to be saved for a time when I can immerse myself in them and set them free. This is why I freak out…

winter

Dear Everyone who is currently complaining about winter when you were all like, ‘oh we love the cooler weather – we can’t wait for winter to get here’ back when I was bitching about it being September last year –…