Why You Can’t Be Jesus

I was raised a Christian, but have always had issues with John 3:16. Because, like Jesus, I too am a...

The Pact

  I believe that birds make pacts with our dogs when they build their nests in our yard. The dogs...

Yeah, That’s My Kid

My children constantly surprise me. Last month when we were visiting Walt Disney World we splurged and let them play...

Great PSAs on Driving

When you stop and think about it, a car is like a land plane. And when you drive, you’re the...

weapon of choice

to what end, all this rushing around and dominating the competition? gold? this is man’s destiny? to hoard gold and...

How to Make a Great Ad

When I broke into advertising, I was all about the high concept stuff that left an impact on people. Creating...

Would You Be Upset In Belize?

Life is hard enough without having to deal with bad drivers who don’t use their turn signals. And it’s more...

The Window

The window is constantly shutting. It does not care about your five year plan. Opportunities to live appear in every...

Ants

  What if we are all really just ants? Slaves to the machine. Blinded by conformity of the way things...

Dustin Pedroia is the Reason I Love Baseball

Make no mistake, I’m no fan of the Boston Red Sox. I used to like them back in the day...

They Only Jog in Rich Neighborhoods

  Angels constantly swirl around me. Some are beautiful. Some are violent. Some have bad teeth. They protect me from...

A Letter to America

  Dear All Dogmatic American Party Liners, We Unaffiliated American voters are pissed off at what you’ve done to our...

A Little Advice

I don't like giving advice. In fact, I hate it. It's not that I don't like helping people, there are...

Finding Neverland: A Story of Belize

This year my family took its summer vacation to the Central American nation of Belize.

3 Ways to Save Humans in America

You are what you eat. It’s an idiom kids in the 70s grew up with that made us think about...

Bump

I used to know a guy named Bump. He was a metal worker in my dad’s sheet metal shop. Bump...

Dear Parents, Do Better

In 2001 I became a parent. I chose to become a parent. But like everyone else who is a parent...

A Routine Day

Two years ago I wrote the following piece as a continuation of this tweet. It was a perfect late afternoon...

How I Used an Onion to Break into Advertising

Whether you’re in advertising or not, looking for work sucks. But it doesn’t have to mean that you have to...

Confessions of a Recovering Homophobe

We didn’t discuss homosexuality in my house growing up. In fact, the first time I even heard the term...

The Little Girl Who Leaves Notes on Her Pillow

Being a parent is hard. Children are time consuming, money consuming, food consuming, and emotionally draining. People fill novels with...

The Wickedness of Walt Disney

I love Walt Disney. There, I said it.

IMG_9069

  I’m from Scots-Irish descent and grew up in Florida in the 70s – before sunscreen was a thing. As a result, I used to burn fairly regularly. I love the sun, and continue to enjoy being outdoors as an adult. Albeit…

Lion

  Earlier today I watched this video, and it made me sad. Then I read about how ISS astronauts are preparing to monitor a comet passing close to Mars later this year. And that made me sad. I became sad because…

photo

Twelve years. There’s still a bruise. Like everyone alive that day, I remember watching the planes fly into the buildings over and over and over. But mostly what I remember  is how everyone in America was in one mind. One…

tomahawk-cruise-missile-bosnian-genocide

Between talking to kids about homework and doing other domestic chores, I managed to ask my wife about Syria tonight. She didn’t want to talk about it. I did. “I don’t want us to bomb them. That’s it. That’s final.”…

121130bucket

People like to categorize each other. It’s easy on the brain. That way, they can use their processing power for more important things – like binging on Breaking Bad. For example, I’m a white man in my 40s. I went…

agatha

Today is day one of a new school year. I have to be honest, aside from the part about releasing my children to a system that 1) drills them with knowledge all day and then gives them more work to…