Fresh on the heels of H&R Block’s “Get Your Billion Back, America” campaign, now we have the Yahoo/Quicken Loans “Billion Dollar Bracket” campaign. Unlike the sleight of hand employed by H&R Block, this concept is even eviler. The H&R campaign just twists big numbers around in your head in the hopes you’ll choose them to do your taxes, with Yahoo you must surrender your personal data. So it goes like this – if you pick a perfect NCAA bracket for…
The stories keep piling up and I have nowhere to put them except in little digital envelopes to be saved for a time when I can immerse myself in them and set them free. This is why I freak out about ‘the machine.’ It’s as though the machine is designed to keep me apart from the thing that my heart tells me to do. It keeps me focused on being responsible. And of course the irony is that my life…
Dear Everyone who is currently complaining about winter when you were all like, ‘oh we love the cooler weather – we can’t wait for winter to get here’ back when I was bitching about it being September last year – shut up. Especially all you winter-hardened Yankees. This is your weather. I’d never complain about it being summer too long. Thank you, Jim Mitchem
Everything you know and love will wither away and die. Dust. And despite what your ego tells you, you probably won’t be remembered past the next generation. Even if you have children who have children. Even if you erect a gold-crusted mausoleum to yourself. That is unless you do something utterly remarkable that changes the world. Which you won’t. Because it’s hard enough making it through every day planning for dinner – much less planning to change the world. Not…
Earlier this week, my 12-year-old daughter, Agatha Rose, wrote the following poem during her social studies class where they are studying the age of imperialism in Africa. When she read it, the class applauded. I couldn’t not post it here.
My wife deserves someone better. Someone who wakes at 6, runs 5 miles, starts breakfast, and then goes to work at General Motors or Bank of America all day where he pulls down 250K so that she can drive a Mercedes to her tennis lessons at the club. Someone safe. Someone stable. But instead, she has me. A risk-taking alcoholic daydreamer from questionable stock who doesn’t like to cook and who would rather sleep in a little than attack a…
